I’m sorry I do shitty things. but when I say I’m sorry, I mean it with full intent. no fucking jokes.
I’m an asshole with feelings.
I “kicked your bleeding heart when it was down” and I didn’t even realize it. I know you’re angry. I know you’re upset but you don’t think I am too? I’m so upset and my body aches and I’ve never been this sad about anything. my heart is ripped to shreds and I wish I could take it all back but I can’t because I can’t even remember doing it. when I read the messages my heart dropped to my stomach and I felt sick. utterly sick and I wanted to die right then and there. I wish you would believe me. I’m sorry I made things worse. I’m sorry I was a bad distraction. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you and I’m sorry I was a burden to you. I’m my anymore. but I don’t know why I can’t fucking get over you. maybe it’s because we stayed up until 4 or 5 in the morning every night on the phone. maybe the endlessly saying “I love you” to each other. maybe I got in too deep and I can’t get myself out of this mess. I feel like complete shit and I want to say sorry but there are no words to even comprehend how sorry I am. i want you to be happy and if me leaving will make you happy, then so be it. I hope you’re happy. I wish you the best and I wish you would believe me when I say I don’t remember. you’re gone. I’m gone. it’s all gone. and now you’ve kicked my bleeding heart when it was down. you’ve stomped on it without a care. I’m shattered into a million pieces. you’ve ruined me after you made me the best I could be.